Answers to Top Concerns Intended Parents Have about Surrogacy

To participate in surrogacy arrangement is similar as stepping into new avenues for both surrogate mother and intended parents. While a surrogate mother has her own reasonable inhibitions, the intended couples are concerned about their relationship with future baby.

Sometimes, certain number of lingering concerns surrounds the surrogate parents we realize that even after committing to using a surrogate to help build their family. To call it abnormal would be unjust because surrogacy is an experience for both the intended parents and their surrogate carrier. 

However, it is only natural that an arrangement for an individual to bring another couple’s child into the world would give rise to some concern.

While undergoing Surrogacy in India, it is ensured that the top concerns of the surrogate mother and intended parents are answered to wash out their inhibitions and make the process comfortable. There are few concerns of intended parents,  

1.  Uncertainty about emotional connect with the child

Before starting a family, couples traditionally want to have a child genetically connected to them. And with surrogacy it is possible. However, the idea of another woman helping the couple to carry the baby is sometimes uncomfortable with the couples, who are otherwise left with no option than to opt for surrogacy. The reason is simple, they feel lost when they think about the relationship with the child. The fact that the standard procedure of conception, pregnancy, and childbirth is not performed by the intended mother confuses the couple.

But the couples need to understand that surrogacy is the arrangement that allows the use of intended father’s sperms and intended mother’s eggs to form an embryo in a laboratory and transfer it in the surrogate’s womb to carry. This means, the surrogate is just the carrier, who nourishes the embryo to give birth to a child genetically connected to intended parents.  

Some prospective parents, women in particular, worry that because they are not carrying the baby themselves that when the baby is born he or she won’t feel like “theirs”. This is a common misconception, and from our experience, it is far from the truth. When the child is born, prospective parents become parents. The child is theirs in every way, and they have the time needed to bond with their new baby.

2. Contact and relationship between surrogate and intended parents

Before signing the surrogacy agreement, a resistance free channel of communication is established between the surrogate carrier and prospective parents.  

It depends on the comfort of both surrogate and intended parents to decide about the type of communication. Generally, the surrogates and prospective parents choose to communicate fairly often, and even form strong friendships during the course of the pregnancy and after the birth of the child.

3.  How are surrogates screened and prepared for their role?

After establishing that the applicant woman is capable of becoming surrogate for the couple, surrogate mothers are screened before their first surrogacy cycle. 

Surrogate screening involves the following tests: medical, a mock cycle, psychological, and a partner screening in which the surrogate’s partner may be asked to undergo a blood test.

The intended parents should trust the doctors and surrogates as women who are approved to become surrogate mothers are very well prepared for their role. They understand the situation of intended parents and make efforts to address their concerns to ensure minimum inhibitions.

Dr Neeraj Pahlajani